Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

~ George Carlin

Save the planet. Save the planet? We can't even save ourselves!
George Carlin

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately." George Carlin
...and boy did he do it well.

How can it be a spy satilitie if they announce on TV it's a spy satilite?

I think I am therefore I am I think. - George Carlin.

Enjoyed him as well in "Streets of Laredo" as "Billy". Good actor too. He was a card!

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

~ George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? -Carlin


His comparison of baseball to football never ceases to crack me up.

Baseball vs football:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YphEUa5LPjM

Thanks Billsta, you made my day.

1st host of Saturday Night Live

Tell the cop that you know your rights, they like that, that way they don't have to read them to you on the way downtown...

The Mrs. and I saw him in concert on our honeymoon 31 years ago. I loved him, my wife still won't forgive me.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

I was just listening to one of Carlin's last shows while driving out to Madison last week.

This is from an email I got today:

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and h ate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people....Who cares?

George Carlin

Remember the kid who eats to many marbles, doesn't grow up to have kids of their own. It's called natural selection.

Carlin was the best. I saw him live twice. It is not everyday that a comedian can really make you just stop and think.

Bapabear,
It was pure coincidence. I was surfing Youtube watching Carlin shorts and had just finished watching the baseball/football routine when I decided to stop in here. This was the first topic I viewed. When I saw your post, it was easy to pass this along. Definitely a classic!

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

His words bring tears..

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

~ George Carlin

Native American Moses Brings Plenty said to me "There are many people in the world and very few human beings. You are a human being." If George Carlin was a human being I cannot be certain, but he did get people to think like human beings.