Every year I get very nervous before we head out, it usually only lasts for a short while unless it's windy or the weather is bad. Some background, as alot of you know I lost a buddy to drowning on knife in 2001, I was there and witnessed it, I could only save one of our crew that dumped their canoe. But ever since I get incredibly nervous before every trip, it has seemed to gotten better but some years it's way worse then others. It's so weird because after that 1st hour or so on the water it goes away no matter how bad the conditions. Right now I just chalk it up to a intense sense of caution. I'm sure there are some on this board that have these kind of feelings and it might not even be related to paddling. thanks Mike

I get nervous about getting sick or hurt before the trip where I'd have to cancel. Also the first day's weather. Can't take a lay-over day at the entry point.

Yes,
Only before my two solo's.
Especially the first one!!!!
The first one I was nervous about finding portages, getting hurt, bears, little things like that :).

The second solo, I was very nervous taking the dog for the first time.
I mean after you drive 14.5 hours and have the dog with you, I'd say your committed. Also was nervous as to what she would be like and act like in a float plane?

What I have learned is the worry is all for not.
Why worry?
I think I have done enough trips now that I am over this worry stuff.
Now that I know what I am capable of and my skill sets have improved.
So not to nervous or anxious anymore.
The other thing I am positive about, is that I am never alone.
The good Lord and my guardian angel is right there with me.
SunCatcher

quote mcsweem: "Every year I get very nervous before we head out, it usually only lasts for a short while unless it's windy or the weather is bad. Some background, as alot of you know I lost a buddy to drowning on knife in 2001, I was there and witnessed it, I could only save one of our crew that dumped their canoe. But ever since I get incredibly nervous before every trip, it has seemed to gotten better but some years it's way worse then others. It's so weird because after that 1st hour or so on the water it goes away no matter how bad the conditions. Right now I just chalk it up to a intense sense of caution. I'm sure there are some on this board that have these kind of feelings and it might not even be related to paddling. thanks Mike"

You have a good reason to be nervous. Do you ever tell the story of the drowning? If so, I'd like to hear it.

I get nervous that I'll make a bad decision and get stuck on some logging road or that I won't be able to reach my destination due to a washout or pond that's deep and soft-bottomed.

A bit... especially with kids. Worry that won't find an open site, that one kid will get too far ahead on portage and get into trouble, that we will commit to a route that we can't make in the time allowed, etc.

Usually doesn't hit me until the day we go in... and doesn't last past that first night luckily.

I would think it would be very normal if you've experienced a tragedy like you did... how awful!!

quote mcsweem: "Every year I get very nervous before we head out, it usually only lasts for a short while unless it's windy or the weather is bad. Some background, as alot of you know I lost a buddy to drowning on knife in 2001, I was there and witnessed it, I could only save one of our crew that dumped their canoe. But ever since I get incredibly nervous before every trip, it has seemed to gotten better but some years it's way worse then others. It's so weird because after that 1st hour or so on the water it goes away no matter how bad the conditions. Right now I just chalk it up to a intense sense of caution. I'm sure there are some on this board that have these kind of feelings and it might not even be related to paddling. thanks Mike "

Not really but my experience is not as traumatic as yours. It sounds like you have a profound sense of responsibility.

You certainly are entitled to feel how you feel and it's to your credit that you are still tripping.

I get butterflies but I think it's more excitement and anticipation that nervous about anything bad going down.

Yes. I obsess about the packing and what I have forgotten. I can never sleep well the night before. I worry about Spartan1 having an insulin reaction and me not being able to help adequately (probably not a very realistic fear as I have handled lots of them and I have what I need and know what to do.) Now that we are older I worry about heart attacks and strokes and all sorts of things.

I worry that we have packed so much that the canoe will sink! LOL!

I usually don't relax until we have been on our way for a couple hours, and I don't find my actual canoe-trip relaxation mode until about midway on day two.

But. . .if the truth be told, whenever we travel I obsess about packing, about what can go wrong, what I have forgotten, etc. So a canoe trip isn't any different than any other vacation. And once we are underway I am just fine and I have a wonderful time.

Some of us are just born worriers. ;-)

I would say no, BUT, after reading about you watching a buddy drown, I think that would make me a absolutely a bit nervous going in.
I will say the one thing I am concerned about is camp cooking. My sister in law had a pot of boiling water dropped on her legs once and someone, who thought they were helping, immediately tore her pants off thinking it would help but it tore the skin off with it. Fortunately after many long years it's not noticeable but, a lot of pain and grafts went into getting there. This happened before I knew her, but my wife witnessed it so it's always something that she gives extra attention to around the camp fire.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend mcsweem. I don't believe I have heard that before.
I don't think I ever get nervous before a trip. Not that I can recall. I do get filled with excitement and anticipation. I can't wait to get there, load up, shove off from shore and dip that paddle.

quote mcsweem: "Every year I get very nervous before we head out, it usually only lasts for a short while unless it's windy or the weather is bad. Some background, as alot of you know I lost a buddy to drowning on knife in 2001, I was there and witnessed it, I could only save one of our crew that dumped their canoe. But ever since I get incredibly nervous before every trip, it has seemed to gotten better but some years it's way worse then others. It's so weird because after that 1st hour or so on the water it goes away no matter how bad the conditions. Right now I just chalk it up to a intense sense of caution. I'm sure there are some on this board that have these kind of feelings and it might not even be related to paddling. thanks Mike "

That's really sad.

My fears are more along the lines of "Did I forget my paddle?"

Mike, I know that nervous feeling you speak of. Not related to BWCA in my case, though. If you've ever read the book "Saved by the Jacket" you'll know my story.

Very brief account: Dad and I fishing on Mille Lacs Lake, anchored, early in May, water temp. very cold. Big speed boat with 3 drunks ran into our boat, Dad and I end up in lake, drunks in boat fled the scene (they never stopped and worse yet, our anchor rope became entangled on their motor and they dragged our boat miles away). Dad can't swim (well he can do the doggy paddle), no life jacket, but I did have a life jacket on. It's close to dark (9:45 pm) and, by law, all boats must be off the lake by 10:00pm. So we have 15 minutes left to be found before the lake becomes a ghost town. One life jacket is keeping us both afloat. Twenty minutes pass and hypothermia is setting in- things weren't looking too good. At times our heads rose with the wave crests high enough for me to see the lights of our cabin. I remember thinking of all the family members onshore and how hard it was going to be for them in the morning when our bodies were found...

It was close but we made it. That happened about 20 years ago and I still get a nervous feeling when I'm fishing and I hear a motor boat heading my direction. I always have to turn and look at the boat and then if I look at my Dad, he's looking at the boat too.

Must be part of our survival instinct to not forget traumatic events.

Wow mcsweem! You should be commended for getting back on the horse! Period. I mean, in reality there is little to fear with proper preparation and experience. But your psychological hurdle is significant. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I understand that sense of nervousness mcsweem. Two weeks ago I was in a minor accident where someone hit the rear of my car while I was stopped along with everyone else in the lane. It was the first accident I was involved in for over 30 years of driving. The stress of not trusting other drivers and thinking about the "what ifs" is still with me. I hope it fades as the driving hours add up.

quote missmolly: "

quote mcsweem: "Every year I get very nervous before we head out, it usually only lasts for a short while unless it's windy or the weather is bad. Some background, as alot of you know I lost a buddy to drowning on knife in 2001, I was there and witnessed it, I could only save one of our crew that dumped their canoe. But ever since I get incredibly nervous before every trip, it has seemed to gotten better but some years it's way worse then others. It's so weird because after that 1st hour or so on the water it goes away no matter how bad the conditions. Right now I just chalk it up to a intense sense of caution. I'm sure there are some on this board that have these kind of feelings and it might not even be related to paddling. thanks Mike "

You have a good reason to be nervous. Do you ever tell the story of the drowning? If so, I'd like to hear it.

I get nervous that I'll make a bad decision and get stuck on some logging road or that I won't be able to reach my destination due to a washout or pond that's deep and soft-bottomed. "

You can read Mikes story if you have a Boundary Waters Journal Summer 2002. I just read it a few days ago. I plan to tell my guys at the planning meeting this weekend. What I learned from Mike is if I am on the water I will wear my lifejacket.

Never nervous, but I still get as excited as I did on my first trip 37 years ago.

Yes a little, just about anything mechanical breaking down on the way up. Once Im up there I dont worry at all because, Im there .

quote BeaV: "Mike, I know that nervous feeling you speak of. Not related to BWCA in my case, though. If you've ever read the book "Saved by the Jacket" you'll know my story.

Very brief account: Dad and I fishing on Mille Lacs Lake, anchored, early in May, water temp. very cold. Big speed boat with 3 drunks ran into our boat, Dad and I end up in lake, drunks in boat fled the scene (they never stopped and worse yet, our anchor rope became entangled on their motor and they dragged our boat miles away). Dad can't swim (well he can do the doggy paddle), no life jacket, but I did have a life jacket on. It's close to dark (9:45 pm) and, by law, all boats must be off the lake by 10:00pm. So we have 15 minutes left to be found before the lake becomes a ghost town. One life jacket is keeping us both afloat. Twenty minutes pass and hypothermia is setting in- things weren't looking too good. At times our heads rose with the wave crests high enough for me to see the lights of our cabin. I remember thinking of all the family members onshore and how hard it was going to be for them in the morning when our bodies were found...

It was close but we made it. That happened about 20 years ago and I still get a nervous feeling when I'm fishing and I hear a motor boat heading my direction. I always have to turn and look at the boat and then if I look at my Dad, he's looking at the boat too.

Must be part of our survival instinct to not forget traumatic events. "

Man, your dad and you are tough. Were the drunks ever found, prosecuted, and jailed? I expect not, but I hope so.

quote missmolly: "

quote BeaV: "Mike, I know that nervous feeling you speak of. Not related to BWCA in my case, though. If you've ever read the book "Saved by the Jacket" you'll know my story.

Very brief account: Dad and I fishing on Mille Lacs Lake, anchored, early in May, water temp. very cold. Big speed boat with 3 drunks ran into our boat, Dad and I end up in lake, drunks in boat fled the scene (they never stopped and worse yet, our anchor rope became entangled on their motor and they dragged our boat miles away). Dad can't swim (well he can do the doggy paddle), no life jacket, but I did have a life jacket on. It's close to dark (9:45 pm) and, by law, all boats must be off the lake by 10:00pm. So we have 15 minutes left to be found before the lake becomes a ghost town. One life jacket is keeping us both afloat. Twenty minutes pass and hypothermia is setting in- things weren't looking too good. At times our heads rose with the wave crests high enough for me to see the lights of our cabin. I remember thinking of all the family members onshore and how hard it was going to be for them in the morning when our bodies were found...

It was close but we made it. That happened about 20 years ago and I still get a nervous feeling when I'm fishing and I hear a motor boat heading my direction. I always have to turn and look at the boat and then if I look at my Dad, he's looking at the boat too.

Must be part of our survival instinct to not forget traumatic events. "

Man, your dad and you are tough. Were the drunks ever found, prosecuted, and jailed? I expect not, but I hope so."

Kind of reminds me of back in the day I waspaddling Lac La Croix by the Indian Village by the Namakan. One of them was out in a Lund fishing boat and tried very hard to swamp me. I've stayed away from that village since.

Just put two guys in the East end of the BW (Little John Lake). One of them had the dry heaves the night before most of the night.

I get a little nervous that I'm forgetting something and get a little stressed. But I'm getting better and find having things laid out early on makes things easier.

Always get butterflies. Always think I forgot something. Always do.

quote missmolly: "

quote BeaV: "Mike, I know that nervous feeling you speak of. Not related to BWCA in my case, though. If you've ever read the book "Saved by the Jacket" you'll know my story. "

Man, your dad and you are tough. Were the drunks ever found, prosecuted, and jailed? I expect not, but I hope so."

Yes, they were caught, prosecuted, and found guilty but they served no jail time only probation and restitution of $100 for my Dad's insurance deductible on his boat. How do I show anger on the internet? Oh well, at least our situation turned out for the best. I learned to respect the danger of cold water and the life saving benefit of wearing a PFD!

Had the crap scared out of me on Sags. Not because it was so much the bad weather and waves, it was because I didn't know any better at the time. Was STUPIDITY on my part. I will never paddle down the middle of a big lake again, I'll follow the shoreline somewhat and enjoy the scenery. It may take me longer but I won't have to empty out my britches either! This will be my second trip this year, and I am 100% more prepared than I was my first trip.

So I guess my answer is I'm cautious now, more so than nervous.

totally get nerves but not for a worthy reason like mcsweem or beav. i just worry-subclinical OCD. did i forget something? did i bring enough insulin? did i bring enough snacks? will we make it to our preferred first night destination? will there be a lot of boat/portage traffic? will the fish bite? it goes on and on. my procrastination and OCD usually doesn't allow me to sleep the night before a trip. usually the nerves do a number on my GI tract (TMI sorry)...

tg

Helping trauma survivors regain confidence is one of my work areas. The trauma memory is stored in special ways and is a defense mechanism. In the end it is our thought, the meaning we assign that counts.
When I interviewed my parents about their first date (part of a grad school know yourself project) they both told the same story with only one twist. Dad interpreted mom's shiver as excitement and she had heard about him and was scared. He started the car and left stopping for a train and having their first kiss. Good outcomes are important to remember.

quote Basspro69: "Yes a little, just about anything mechanical breaking down on the way up. Once Im up there I dont worry at all because, Im there ."

ditto, my canoe is usually worth more than my car.

I get a little on edge it seems starting out. Tripping in spring and fall with the water temps is dangerous.

Some of my friends tipped on fish lake and a guy in the group died as he swam the wrong direction. It was night and the water was really cold.

Second hand info here. I know there was a group tripping through tuscarora gillis area when they happened upon a person that was lost. The guy had been on the kek trail I believe and had been lost for days. He was obviously hungry and they brought him back to there campsite. Fed him and gave him everything he needed. Next morning he was sleeping so they decided to just head out fishing and when they returned in the afternoon he was dead at there campsite. Whata do then?

Be ready for anything it can happen.

quote BeaV: "

quote missmolly: "

quote BeaV: "Mike, I know that nervous feeling you speak of. Not related to BWCA in my case, though. If you've ever read the book "Saved by the Jacket" you'll know my story. "

Man, your dad and you are tough. Were the drunks ever found, prosecuted, and jailed? I expect not, but I hope so."

Yes, they were caught, prosecuted, and found guilty but they served no jail time only probation and restitution of $100 for my Dad's insurance deductible on his boat. How do I show anger on the internet? Oh well, at least our situation turned out for the best. I learned to respect the danger of cold water and the life saving benefit of wearing a PFD!"

That's too bad. They needed some time in a cage to contemplate their cowardice. Sure, they were reckless and incompetent too, but cowardice was their greatest crime.

quote togue: " I get a little on edge it seems starting out. Tripping in spring and fall with the water temps is dangerous.

Some of my friends tipped on fish lake and a guy in the group died as he swam the wrong direction. It was night and the water was really cold.

Second hand info here. I know there was a group tripping through tuscarora gillis area when they happened upon a person that was lost. The guy had been on the kek trail I believe and had been lost for days. He was obviously hungry and they brought him back to there campsite. Fed him and gave him everything he needed. Next morning he was sleeping so they decided to just head out fishing and when they returned in the afternoon he was dead at there campsite. Whata do then?

Be ready for anything it can happen. "

Regarding your second story, I wouldn't have seen that coming and would have acted as they did.

I never worry about the trip itself ie: weather or if I will be hurt but always anxious during the first hour or two of the drive to Ely. The canoe flying off my car, items I may have forgotten, my wehicle breaking down...

And my adrenaline doesn't let me sleep very well the night before so I usually end up leaving hours before I planned. All that said, there is no better feeling than pulling out of the driveway for a canoe trip. It's still dark out, no traffic yet and the radio is on.

Baby, I feel GOOD!

I think I have the normal worries that others have - bad weather, cold water, injury/illness, etc. These are usually amplified when I'm solo in late fall, but they don't escalate to the level of an anxiety/panic attack.

That's a cool video, Tom. I always take still shots from the passenger side of the car of the underside of the canoe and the highway ahead, but the idea of a video has never occurred to me. Duh!

Not necessarily relating to a BW trip, though it did factor into one of them. My oldest daughter was born 10 weeks prematurely and was very sick. We have had other various medical traumas with her over the years, too. Most of the time I'm okay but occasionally I almost have panic attacks about it (thankfully not that bad, though) like if I want to reach her and can't. A giant feeling of dread and unease will well up. It carries over to my other daughter, too, like sometimes I just MUST check on her at night. Which probably is not that unusual for a mother but I think it's the level of feeling that goes along with it that is different or more intense than normal. Because I have the normal stuff, too. ;-) The time in the BW that it had an effect on me was when my husband and I went on a trip by ourselves. The kids were with my mom. I really did NOT like not being able to reach them. I had a satellite phone and did break down and use it once (original plan was for me to check messages daily, in case my mom needed to read me...it wasn't supposed to be for me to call and check on them...because if I didn't have a message, they were fine, right?).

So now I just bring them to the BW with me. I have no real problem letting them do whatever...as long as I know where they are and can read them if I need to.

This is kind of a scary thread. I'm going to the BWCA this weekend for a short solo trip. Now I feel all wigged out.

I get nervous about a week before a trip for some unexplained reason, but as soon as I hit the road it goes away

I had some nerves driving the Echo trail last fall for my first solo. Mostly I kept thinking" WTF are you doing?!?" This thought lasted until I got paddling. I was fine after that.

On group trips, since I'm usually in charge of gear, permit and food I have some anxiety about forgetting something but that all goes away when we dip a paddle. Nothing I can do about it then, its sweet relief.

Mcsweem, I can relate to your story but unlike you, I haven't hunted since it happened. I know your friend, where ever he is, is watching you paddle and maybe even there with you.

TomT - Your video brought a smile to my face. Have traveled those roads many times - and can relate to 'need a bathroom soon'!

I get a little nervous the week before watching the weather, going on opener never know if it's going to snow or be warm, don't want to pack to much stuff or not enough to stay warm, don't want wife to be cold. Once i,m there all nerves go away and the fun begins.

quote alpine525: "TomT - Your video brought a smile to my face. Have traveled those roads many times - and can relate to 'need a bathroom soon'!"

You know, I didn't plan on making a video ahead of time so I missed a lot of good stuff like the bridge from Superior to Duluth. But, this was a solo trip and it's not easy whipping out the camera when driving. :)

Not really before the trip, but basically I worry the whole time we're in about the members of my group, maybe because both have been minors. We've gotten really cold, lost, and have had the unpleasantly close lightning experience and because of this you can usually find me glued to a weather report before we go.

Last summer I learned how fun it can be to startle a bull moose on a hike. All of a sudden three steps to my left the bushes, foliage and trees all started thrashing, making me wonder how I could be so stupid to miss such a large animal next to me. I was in bear country (not Bdub) and as I was trying to figure out what I missed, a very large spikey brown thing trotted to a stop about thirty feet away, just behind the spot I had been looking at. He was on a slope, looked at and started walking towards me. I don't think I could have stayed put if I wanted to, all I could see were the tines! I ran like Godzilla was chasing me but all he wanted apparently was to get down into the meadow, which is where I took his candid. I realize moose are all over the place, but maybe that's what I get for straying from canoeing for a hike! ;-)

when I am with my sons, I worry a little. When I am with my friend, I don't worry so much.

Yeah, I usually get a bit nervous before a trip. Even though I feel completely comfortable once I am out there, perhaps even more comfortable than I am at home, it is a step out of my usual life. Maybe its the planning, maybe the uncertainty of conditions, ... don't really know. But I do feel it. Fortunately it goes away quickly.

I don't have the experience others have had with drownings but that would definitely up the nerves for me.

quote realandrea: "Not really before the trip, but basically I worry the whole time we're in about the members of my group, maybe because both have been minors. We've gotten really cold, lost, and have had the unpleasantly close lightning experience and because of this you can usually find me glued to a weather report before we go.

Last summer I learned how fun it can be to startle a bull moose on a hike. All of a sudden three steps to my left the bushes, foliage and trees all started thrashing, making me wonder how I could be so stupid to miss such a large animal next to me. I was in bear country (not Bdub) and as I was trying to figure out what I missed, a very large spikey brown thing trotted to a stop about thirty feet away, just behind the spot I had been looking at. He was on a slope, looked at and started walking towards me. I don't think I could have stayed put if I wanted to, all I could see were the tines! I ran like Godzilla was chasing me but all he wanted apparently was to get down into the meadow, which is where I took his candid. I realize moose are all over the place, but maybe that's what I get for straying from canoeing for a hike! ;-)

"

Wow! That's a nice set of paddles!

quote mcsweem: "Every year I get very nervous before we head out, it usually only lasts for a short while unless it's windy or the weather is bad. Some background, as alot of you know I lost a buddy to drowning on knife in 2001, I was there and witnessed it, I could only save one of our crew that dumped their canoe. But ever since I get incredibly nervous before every trip, it has seemed to gotten better but some years it's way worse then others. It's so weird because after that 1st hour or so on the water it goes away no matter how bad the conditions. Right now I just chalk it up to a intense sense of caution. I'm sure there are some on this board that have these kind of feelings and it might not even be related to paddling. thanks Mike "

Your nervousness is more than understandable, and I get it big time. A couple of college buddies drowned in Lake Superior while trying to save me our freshman year at UMD-very painful experience that will always haunt me. That was 31 years ago, and I am always nervous when nasty weather/big wind hits when I am on the water, especially big lakes.

I get excited and a little paranoid about forgetting something but I've never been nervous about a trip. Of course I've never almost drowned or watched it happen.

Sounds a little like PTSD. No joking, did you see anybody preofessionally for it?

I always get nervous about the day I go in my entry. Is it going to be raining? I hate the rain on the day you go in, or the day you leave. Plus, I have been in some big storms on the day of leaving. They're no picnic...

quote bumabu: "Sounds a little like PTSD. No joking, did you see anybody preofessionally for it? "

yeah I talked with a counselor after it happened. Always a little tough for me because I was a therapist for years and I always am thinking what are they getting at or where are they going with this. I actually talked with a couple until I got comfortable with one in particular. It helped

yes...well, nervous/anxious/exited to the point where i've never slept the night before leaving home. This of course makes that 1st night in camp very relaxing when I can barely stand any more.

i do for bigger solos. i dont for any other trips.

I was more nervous last year than the year before. My 10 year old son came along for the first time and the plan was for him to paddle the bow for the first time. I knew he was not a strong paddler so I was very anxious watching the wind forecast for the week and it got progressively worse 2 days before we went in and again the day before. There were a couple days we didn't venture out on the lake, the waves were large enough that I didn't think he, nor I could handle it. The day before we left, a canoe got flipped on our lake (Gabbro) and an outfitter had to come and rescue them. I was thankful that the next day when we left the wind had calmed and it was a smooth exit.

I think a little bit of nervous is a healthy thing, keeps your senses heightened and aware. I certainly was more aware and less willing to take risks with my son along. PFD's are ALWAYS a requirement, no exceptions.

For those of you that have lost friends, I cannot begin to imagine what that must be like. I commend your bravery to continue to enjoy paddling and not let those events deter you.

not much to get nervous about in the bwca unless you are winter camping, a totally different experience. i'll never go canoeing in labrador or quebec again, those rivers are (or were, lots of them are gone now) really scary.