Working in a group home is good 362 days of the year. Today ran across a person who cusses and swears at people, blows up on them, blames everyone for problems and apparently feels a simple sorry makes everything alright. I have know this person for 3 yrs and it is repeated ever since.

Do some people never grow up or think they live under special rules/standards? Are they a victim of others? Maybe they never will given what I have seen.

victim's basic stance is that he or she:
Is not responsible for what happened.
Is always morally right.
Is not accountable.
Is forever entitled to sympathy.
Is justified in feeling moral indignation for being wronged.

Rant off, been a bad week.

Isn't it nice you don't have to wake up in his tent?;-)

awwww. maybe you deserved it.

Maybe you deserved it, haha. That should be #6.

Not sure what kind of group home you work in, but there are definitely conditions that yield that kind of person... I'm just sorry they took it out on you. The cause/effect/responsibility thing is hard to teach to some... seems immediate blame of someone else is the norm, with everything from hot beverage burns to accidental bumps along the way. I hope your week ends on a high note somehow.

wow! you work with george bush?

Negative, pissy people are not happy till they make everyone negative and pissy around them. Kill'em with kindness and they will not win.

Take them canoeing on the sag on windy day....can u convince this person that cement boots help keep the ballast correct......

quote dicecupmaker: "Negative, pissy people are not happy till they make everyone negative and pissy around them. Kill'em with kindness and they will not win."

Oh, how I wish that were true. Sometimes you just have to walk away, even if it's your own family.

# 1, 2, 3 and 6 - the elements of victim mentality that bring it only a step away from emotional abuse.

GSP, you must see things that would break a person's heart. Thanks for sharing the vent with us.

All I can say is......

It was nice to meet you and of course,..... I'm sorry.

i was thinking they worked with obama, nothing is his fault everything is george bush's fault, throw money at it and it will fix itself, bush couldnt get to new orleans and obama cant get anywhere but vacation

I thought that was just part of being married.

quote inthewoods: "i was thinking they worked with obama, nothing is his fault everything is george bush's fault, throw money at it and it will fix itself, bush couldnt get to new orleans and obama cant get anywhere but vacation"

Whoa!---- i missed it, - when did everything stop being Clinton's fault? :)

smells like bipolar... the world exists only as far as it affects them, everything only has a reality if it is about them. They cannot connect how their behavior creates chaos around them. Lived with one for 20 years- the one thing you learn is nothing you say or do will fix them. Just be glad you are not married to this disease-

I have worked as licensed/independent social worker or therapist for 15 yrs. I work in that capacity currently but only a few shifts a week. Glad i don't have to work on diagnosis or write reports. I provide coverage in adult group home for people with substance abuse issues and/or mental health problems. Most just need assistance and support for short times or to be stabilized.

I have dealt with my own problems and know the stress people face. 25 years of being clean and sober makes dealing with my severe depression easier.

The past should influence and change the future, not dictate it.

quote ripple: "smells like bipolar... the world exists only as far as it affects them, everything only has a reality if it is about them. They cannot connect how their behavior creates chaos around them. Lived with one for 20 years- the one thing you learn is nothing you say or do will fix them. Just be glad you are not married to this disease- "

There are also those who thrive on power struggle, relational uproar, and keeping others off balance. Be glad you aren't married to this strain of the disease.

Not to hijack the thread (I'm interested in the topic of depression) but ripple's comment hit home.

Your experience is so extensive I'm embarrased that I commented- except I was trying to share what finally gave me a lot of peace in dealing with people like you described is that I realized that nothing anyone does can change someone who has issues. It is easier for me to let go of this type of behavior if I can see that the person is functioning in the only known way for them.

ooohhh... Koda- think I found someone else for the "I survivied a bipolar spouse" support group I often think of forming.

You could add me to that group.
I will also note that I am HAPPILY surviving the situation.

GSP... I think I work that that person. No... wait... I don't work in a group home. Sorry.

I feel your pain though.

ripple, this forum is unlike perhaps most you've known. I'm a relative newbie, but it seems to me that over the past 6 months this group has grown into a caring and sensitive bunch of friends. It might have always been that way, so maybe it's just me. In any case, you needn't feel embarrassed; your comment, as well as the one that started this thread, are certainly in keeping with our group culture.

Thank you Koda, I was beginning to cringe at my forwardness. As a first born, a nurse and a Mom of five kids- I chronically think I have to help people. I am afraid sometimes I overstep boundaries- I am definitely feeling that the people here are a pretty sensitive crowd. The only other forums I have joined were the Airstream forum and the catalina sailboat forum- they are really only tech related.

quote bradcrc: "wow! you work with george bush?"

Was going to say something smart, but then I remembered I took an oath. But then what does an oath mean to a democrat? Oops, I slipped. :)