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troutslayar  
distinguished member (121)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
Past Donor
03/22/2008 05:01AM
 
Political Science for Dummies
> >
> >>> DEMOCRAT
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> Your neighbor has none.
> >>> You feel guilty for being successful.
> >>> You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for
> >>> everyone.
> >>> REPUBLICAN
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> Your neighbor has none.
> >>> So?
> >>> SOCIALIST
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
> >>> You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
> >>> COMMUNIST
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
> >>> You wait in line for hours to get it.
> >>> It is expensive and sour.
> >>> CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
> >>> BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
> >>> milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
> >>> AMERICAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd
> >>> one.
> >>> You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
> >>> surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
> >>> analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
> >>> Your stock goes up.
> >>> FRENCH CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You go on strike because you want three cows.
> >>> You go to lunch and drink wine.
> >>> Life is good.
> >>> JAPANESE CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> >>> and produce twenty times the milk.
> >>> They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
> >>> Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
> >>> GERMAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
> >>> excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
> >>> Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
> >>> ITALIAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
> >>> You break for lunch.
> >>> Life is good.
> >>> RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> You have some vodka.
> >>> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> >>> You have some more vodka.
> >>> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> >>> The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
> >>> TALIBAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
> >>> You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
> >>> parts.
> >>> You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
> >>> alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
> >>> IRAQI CORPORATION
> >>> You have two cows.
> >>> They go into hiding.
> >>> They send radio tapes of their mooing.
> >>> POLISH CORPORATION
> >>> You have two bulls.
> >>> Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
> >>> BELGIAN CORPORATION
> >>> You have one cow.
> >>> The cow is schizophrenic.
> >>> Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
> >>> The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
> >>> The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
> >>> The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
> >>> The cow dies happy.
> >>> FLORIDA CORPORATION
> >>> You have a black cow and a brown cow.
> >>> Everyone votes for the best looking one.
> >>> Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
> >>> accidentally vote for the black one.
> >>> Some people vote for both.
> >>> Some people vote for neither.
> >>> Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
> >>> Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
> >>> think is the best-looking cow.
> >>> CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
> >>> You have millions of cows.
> >>> They make real California cheese.
> >>> Only five speak English.
> >>> Most are illegal.
> >>> Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
> >>>
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canoe212  
distinguished member(886)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
Photo Journal Gear Reviews
03/22/2008 05:40AM
 
hahahahahahahahahahahah!!


If you can earn it, why did He die?
Boppa  
distinguished member(2038)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
8 trip report(s) Photo Journal Current Donor Gear Reviews
03/22/2008 10:03AM
 
troutslayar, Thanks. That is good, in fact I know where I am going to be sending it.
Boppa


"Yesterday is the past, Tomorrow is the future, Today is a GIFT, that is why it is called the present".
SiouxFan  
distinguished member (130)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
Photo Journal
03/22/2008 10:52AM
 
Good humor


Go Sioux
Maddog  
distinguished member(736)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
03/22/2008 10:57AM
 
Why do you have to make Republicans look bad?
PaddleAway  
distinguished member(876)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
4 trip report(s) Photo Journal Past Donor
03/22/2008 12:21PM
 
That's goooooo stuff. :)
ekffazr  
distinguished member(747)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
1 trip report(s) Photo Journal Current Donor Gear Reviews
03/22/2008 12:51PM
 
LMAO
I think I might be republican
moooo



He, who would give up freedom for security, then neither deserves nor will receive either. -- Ben Franklin
mongo65  
distinguished member(1603)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
1 trip report(s) Photo Journal Past Donor
03/22/2008 03:16PM
 
Mongo Like!


Sit back, relax, have a home brew.
L.T.sully  
distinguished member(2375)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
3 trip report(s) Photo Journal Past Donor Gear Reviews
03/22/2008 03:31PM
 
The Iraqi, and Taliban seem like they should be flip flopped, but other than that, very funny.


The creation of a thousand forests is in a single acorn- Ralph Waldo Emerson
guitar1  
distinguished member (208)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
03/22/2008 04:22PM
 
I would be a good Italian, apparently.
dogwoodgirl  
distinguished member(1470)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
8 trip report(s) Photo Journal
03/22/2008 07:57PM
 
Looks like I am either Italian or French...life is good!


~On to Fort Chippewan before the snow flies!
kanoes  
distinguished member(23782)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished membermaster membermaster member
9 trip report(s) Photo Journal Current Donor Gear Reviews
03/22/2008 07:59PM
 
some days i can relate to the polish one.


time is a flat circle...
cowdoc  
distinguished member(4809)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberpower member
9 trip report(s) Photo Journal Past Donor
03/22/2008 11:12PM
 
I'm just glad I wasn't mentioned.


"What could happen?"
mr.barley  
distinguished member(5777)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberpower member
Photo Journal Current Donor
03/23/2008 04:19PM
 
If you're cowdoc

You have no cows

But you stick your arm up their hind ends all day long looking for loose change

You also secretly wish you were an octopus so you'd have 8 arms to work with.


Of all the things I've lost in my life I think I miss my mind the most
irishstone  
distinguished member(658)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
1 trip report(s) Photo Journal
03/24/2008 07:50AM
 
Funny stuff, thanks for sharing!
Dennisal  
distinguished member(1038)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
Photo Journal Current Donor
03/24/2008 09:45AM
 
I am with Arnold on this one....


Never lost. All portages and roads go somewhere or they would not be there.
marc bates  
distinguished member(1031)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
Photo Journal Past Donor
03/24/2008 04:28PM
 
I laughed the whole time reading that. Good stuff.
Merganser  
distinguished member(2497)distinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished memberdistinguished member
1 trip report(s) Photo Journal Current Donor
03/25/2008 09:29PM
 
That's awesome!


"That sort of thing is my bag baby."
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